My Last Day of Summer Vacation

August 9th Schedule

Wake up in the morning feelin like M.Gandhi
Location: Hotel Ramada bed with sheets that are as dried as South Asians and in a room thats been smelling like curry since the night of August 6th
East Orange, New Jersey 
Time: (7:00AM) 


Before i leave, brush my teeth.....with a tube of minty whitening colgate toothpaste to make my breath smell good and teeth look nice to prepare for a long day and hope i dont get jumped as i catch a train to the Big Apple and arrive there on time so my whole day does not get ruined
East Orange, New Jersey
Time: (7:00AM-10:00AM)



Networking Event with Tim Minton Cornell '79 Economics
Zazoom, 277 Broadway, suite 1501 (near all subway lines) 
New York, New York
Time: (10:15 AM - 12:00 PM)

Show Parents around a real Chinatown and eat
New York Chinatown, New York
Time: (12:00PM-4:00PM)

Make sure Parents and Sis dont get lost in the city and get them back to train station to jersey
Penn Station, New York
Time: (4:00PM-5:00PM)

Hopefully find where I am supposed to go
New York, New York
Time: (5:00PM-6:00PM)

Cornell AS Finance Careers Convention Reception
575 Madison Avenue New York, New York
Time: (6:00 PM - 8:00 PM)

Drink and Chill wit Bros
Bars in New York, New York
Time: (8:00 PM-whenever before the following morning of August 10th when my parents wake up and wanna drive me up to Cornell. hopefully ill get back to jersey in time and in one piece)


Yep that's all folks, im not an OCD person, but I just basically planned my whole day tommorow August 9, 2011 which also happens to be my last day of summer this year. As my 2011 summer winds down and officially ends on August 10, 2011 around noon when I get back to Ithaca and move in to Cornell where I go to school, i'd like to reflect on this summer. Many words to describe it, but all in all, it was awesomely great and nothing that happens tomorrow will change it. That's all I am going to say actually and I am not going to go any deeper because some people I know might get too excited since they like it like that. But I do want to add that I am just grateful to have had and still have so many amazing people and experiences in my life thus far and beyond. Now I am not making sense, but truth is, life does not make sense. Just go with it. One of many things I learned this summer of 2011 among other things. Alright I think that is all I have to say for now. Uncoincidentally this will also be my last post for the summer as well. Who knows if I will continue, only time will tell. So this is Steve reporting from a false 3 star hotel in the middle of Jersey while rubbing my moms nice smelling lotion on the hotel bed sheets to counteract everything that makes my olfactory and touch senses sense south asianess. So as M. Ghandi would say, peace. Oh And for those of you who still have summer going on, hope y'all enjoy and live out the rest of what is left. Awwwwww shiiiieeet unce unce unce YEAH BABY!

If I had a million dollars.....

If I had a million dollars, I would probably first buy a house. Maybe two-stories or three, one that I will be able to do whatever I wish and fit whoever I want, however I want. If I had a million-dollars, I would then drop out of college, not worry about the burden of paying ridiculously high tuition and travel around the world. I would seek out the wonders of the world, discover how vast and awesome the world can be, start with the United States of America and move on to the other countries and islands of the world, climb some mountains, chill at remote beach resorts, try exotic foods, party it up in places, meet a diverse portion of the 6.8 billion people on earth. If I had a million dollars, my life would be simple as can be, no worrying about finding a job for the time being, buying rings for a special someone, planning for an extravagant bachelor party/wedding bash, supporting a future family, visiting relatives. If I had a million dollars, I would probably buy three mediocre cars, one Camry, one suburban, one CR-V and take some cross country road trips. And in the end, if I have any money left over, I would probably give the rest to charity. Then I would continue dreaming about having another million dollars while worrying about retirement and the dying social security. But life is not a game and there is no time chasing dreams. We all have to take action to get somewhere. Yet we all tend to chase dreams at some point in our lives when there is nothing else to take refuge upon. So all we can do is hope that no matter what happens, a dream will still be there. But dreams do come true. Martin Luther King Jr. can attest to that if he were still alive today. But once you achieve a dream, you want more, and as the world changes and a person changes, dreams change. So maybe a year from now, I would have different ambitions, dreams, and naturally forget the dreams I had a year ago. Ultimately, all one can do is wake up, snap back to reality and live for the moment so that maybe one day, a dream can and will become a reality without one knowing. Besides, if you think about it, realistically, a million dollars nowadays and into the future, is not even that much anymore when put into perspective, and the reality of it all, can become a dream again. 






On another reality check, my summer in Houston ends in 108 hours.

Competition Classification

 “A competitive world offers two possibilities. You can lose. Or, if you want to win, you can change.”
 –Anonymous

                 Competition is a simple concept: There can only be one winner; while one side benefits, the other side is negatively affected. I’d say we live in a pretty competitive world. Usually when you think of competition, you think of sports. But competition is around in every instance of life. For example, The Olympics is competition not only for the best athletes, but also for the world countries to display their power on the global scale. Another example would be how just recently Google released Google+, which is basically like a new social networking platform and I have to admit it is pretty awesome. Free conference video calling and things called “circles” which is basically like social circles in real life. Many say they are trying to rival Facebook, which beat out all of its competitors over the past decade ranging from Friendster to MySpace. About a couple of weeks ago, me and some friends were at the Galleria and we noticed how there was a newly opened Microsoft Store, much like the popular Apple Stores (except for the fact that the Chinese people haven’t attempted to open fake Microsoft Stores yet. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/20/china-fake-apple-stores_n_904409.html). That’s two technology giants competing against each other in the same mall, on the same floor now that’s classic competition. Other examples include Cell phone companies, fast-food chains, pre-med candidates, condom makers, women, and the list goes on and on. It’s human nature to be competitive, also known as survival of the fittest. Adaptation to the environment to become better is the only way to stay alive as long as possible, again basic biology. Common-sense wise, nothing could last forever, everyone dies. Companies change marketing strategies or develop new ideas to adapt to changing consumer behavior or the changing economy. Businesses die when competitors beat them out of the market. Cell phones destroyed the pagers that doctors use to use. Floppy discs were replaced by CDs, which were then replaced by flashdrives. Here’s a list of other products and everyday items that were popular a decade ago and now are literally extinct http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/648/100-things-your-kids-may-never-know-about. The world is dynamic and that is why the world has competition. Everyone wants to win. But not everyone is going to win and get what they want. Simply put, that’s just how life is.

                      Personally, I like competition. After all, that don’t which kill you can only make you stronger. While winning isn't everything, wanting to is. While most are dreaming of success, winners wake-up and work hard to achieve it. Winners build on mistakes. Losers dwell on them. But in the end, competition could get the best of us. I’ve learned that it’s essential to not be so caught up in winning and lose sight of what’s right and what’s wrong. Ultimately, I despise serious competition with people I care about, from friends to family because it will never end well. Friends can easily turn into enemies, family to foe. This is the reason why for me, friendly competition is the best scenario. This way win-or-lose, it doesn’t matter, because it’s literally not a game, just a win-win situation. And if friendly competition turns into serious competition, I always believe it is in my best interest to give in, it is not worth losing an important person to competition because then it would be a lose-lose situation.

                       Since I try to make every post as insightful as possible, for my second topic I’m going to borrow an article from Yahoo.com that is ridiculously intuitive. Now yahoo usually has some pretty bs articles that make no sense at all, but this one I’d say is actually pretty accurate. So this section is for the men out there who feel the need to classify the women in their lives. Oh and as for the women out there, just……don’t worry about it:

The “Love at First Sight” ones capture your attention immediately. They usually are the girls with a heart. She seems like someone you could actually approach no matter who she is and how popular she is.

The “Eye Candys" are the ones you’re physically attracted to, yet you can’t connect with her conversationally. They could be perfectly nice, or even massive assholes, but it’s not only their personalities. Either it be a mismatch of intellectual interests, or just an unexplainable dead end to every conversation that you force to start to begin with, its too bad.

The “Demon Sluts" are the ones you’re physically attracted to, but treat you like shit, playing you and giving you hope here and there so that attraction is maintained. In the chauvinistic male world, this would be the star example of success: a PlaYaAAAA (hollllaaa). But its actually a terrible thing. You know they’re bad for you, but you keep at it.

The “Dream Girls" are the pretty people that you’ve always held a vested interest in, and you do talk a certain amount, but they seem just a tad out of your reach so you’re at a constant internal struggle. You might have a perpetual crush on them that you don’t really consider real because you put them out of your reach. Yet in the ultimate chance that either they’re interested in you or that you have a plausible chance, you would immediately kindle the flame that never really blew out. Usually incites an “OH WORDD?!!?” whenever someone tells you she might be interested, and is also the typical response of your friends whenever you tell them about something significant [except not really] that happened between you and her.

The “Feminine Bros" are the ones you liked a long long time ago, and became close, but it ended well. Now you’re homies for life! Or even just girls that you acknowledge are pretty but never found physically attractive to you. In the end, you guys just become really good friends that your guy friends INSIST that are going to hookup or whatnot but you know for a FACT thats not going to happen any time soon. 

The “On My Minds" are the ones that you just click right away; a smooth rooted first impression that grows into a solid trunk of interest, then branching out into endless topics of conversation (see what I did there). After you first meet the person, you know theres potential; its just up to you to either:

1.Get it out of the texting/internet flirting stage and make it something tangible. Key is maintaining the attraction and meeting them IN PERSON.

2.Let it just fizz out and die. Be relatively unresponsive. Usually what the “I shut it and cut it as soon as I sense something” people do.

3. Fail at getting it out of the cutesey texting/internet flirting stage and become friends.

4. Realize you’re not physically attracted to her at all, you just connect as human beings. Friendship lane!

The “Potentials" are a variant of On My Minds in the sense that these are the ones that just become prettier and prettier the more you see them, talk to them, and hang out with them. You wonder why you never saw them in a romantically attractive light before. You don’t necessarily talk to them a lot online or whatever, but you see them in person often, whether it be with groups of friends or just while walking to the dining halls, and she catches your eye more and more.

The “Little Sisters". They might as well be a different species. All you know is that you care about them a lot and can get protective over them, but your eyes go into a different viewing mode when they come into play. Adorable at best.

The “Bros". Basically the homies who fart and burp in front of you. (AWWWWWW YEAH)

Alrighty so I’ve got a couple weeks of summer left in Htown, might as well make the best of it. So far, theres been a great streak of late Friday night rambunctious entertainment, let’s keep them coming. Unce unce unce.

My Birthday List

So exactly 19 years ago, I came out of my momma at about 6 pounds plus or minus 1 and was introduced to the world. Legend has it that my wee wee was as big as my belly button, but I am quite positive that it is not the case anymore. Throughout the past 19 years, I (and my wee wee) have grown and matured like no other and have had great experiences both good and bad, happy and sad, fun and boring, sunny and pouring…etc.  In the previous posts, I have been blabbering in long paragraphs. So for today, I am making multiple lists of miscellaneous things and people who have had an impact in my life thus far.  Keep in mind these will be tentative and because of my short term memory, I may forget people so don’t feel left out. Lists are very volatile and will change as the years go on because things will probably change since nothing in the universe is unchanging and according to Barrack Hussein Obama the current president of the great country I live in, change is good.

Things I admire in both guys and girls, things that I look for in people that become my friends etc. Of course good-looks will always help and is a big plus, but I’m not the type that judges people based solely on looks.

1.       Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common. As life gets busier and busier, it gets harder and harder to keep in touch with people who are important to your life, but putting an effort no matter what is going on in life to show your care for others is very respectable. People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give. Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special.  While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite. I always try my best to be as selfless as possible. I cherish the selfless people in my life as well, from parents to friends.

2.       Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals.  All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies.  After all, these differences make the world go round.  Having the ability to accept people for who they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships. Basically don’t be too judgemental and always give someone a chance to know them better, you’ll be surprised at how true the cliché “don’t judge a book by its cover” can be.

3.       Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial.  Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess.  To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty…it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular…it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so…it means loving people for who they really are…deep down…and not for what they appear to be. I believe all my relationships with friends and other people I associate with are quite real, not virtual cuz that would just be sad. Whats more is that they are real not only in person, but deep inside. I hate to say this, but I usually am pretty good at picking out the real from the fake people.

4.       Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us.  Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected.  Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say. Caring is always a good thing. The world needs more love, less hate. This kinda relates to the trait of selflessness, but differs in that sensitive people usually think about what they will say first and embody the special talent of foresight. They usually are pretty good at predicting the equal or opposite reaction of every action, proving Newtons 3^rd law of motion holds true everytime.

5.       Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find.  In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (dirty celebrities) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (sluts), integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today. Real men (and women) will always keep their integrity no matter what the situation is.

6.       Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time.  Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too. Humbleness is one of my favorite traits, its when people who don’t flaunt their good stuff. No matter how popular or attractive you are, no matter how much money or friends you have( facebook does not count in my book), no matter how big your genitals are, be humble about it.

7.       Smartness/intelligence: Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be smart, because only being book smart will not help. I mean smart in the sense of having common sense all the time, and thinking about things before you do it, basically being socially smart. This could mean getting along with people very well, not being socially awkward all the time, having smart humour. Of course if you are not that intelligent, I’d understand, but intelligence is a big plus as well, like bonus points.

8.       Independentness: Last but not least, I admire and respect people who are independent. This does not mean just because you don’t live with your parents you are independent, because you would still be dependent if they were the ones who bought the house for you and paying for your bills because you are spoiled. Independentness is being no ones female dog, asking  for help only when absolutely needed or necessary, relying on oneself whenever possible. This will not only make you more competent, but also not give a chance to people you are dependent on to take advantage of you.


Things I look down upon in people, traits that I wish people would not have, but no one is perfect. After all perfection is perception. I am a pretty accepting person, but if you have a majority(more than 50%) of the traits  I’m about to list, then I most likely do not associate with you and do not know you or pretend to not know you,  but will still say hi to you. This is basically a list that is almost the complete opposite of the above, and some are  derived from Dantes Inferno, except I am not going to do the worst traits in order of circles of hell because it’s not a game. 

1.       Obnoxiousness: Basically people who think they are all that. Extremely cocky people who can’t back up their cockiness in the end (Too much talk, not enough game). I despise sore losers. People who flaunt all their assets, people who act more superior than others because they are either richer, smarter, popular, or better-looking, or have a bigger penii ….etc.

2.       Hypocrisy: The state of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. That is the textbook definition. To further elaborate on hypocrites out there, I’ll give a few specific examples.  

·         People who think they are humourous just because a couple of people claim it, when they are actually not.

·         Losers on facebook: people who act like they have a lot of friends on facebook and fill up everyone’s newsfeed with flashy posts because they are bored while in real life, they are different than what they post and give off the wrong impression and are actually hypocrites.  

·         People who think they are smarter than they actually are. If you are stupid, just admit it to yourself or not kid yourself, its better for the world and for yourself, and you’ll only make yourself look dumber. and good people usually accept you for who you are, even if you aren’t the brightest in the world. 

·         To be continued when I am in a bad mood and wanna vent more on the different types of hyprocrites out there

3.       Lust: First add some over-obsession. Next add the people who are way too desperate for sex and will lose integrity to get some. Last but not least add the people who try way too hard or do way too much to get someone that’s its almost creeperish and you get lust. Its cute and admirable to make a strong effort, but don’t resort to creepy mode, it will do no good. This includes but is not limited to excessive stalking (both virtual and reality), taking advantage of non-sober people, etc.

4.       Drama Queens/Kings: This includes people who sob over the simplest things, or take too long to get over stuff, people who make problems out of the slightest shit. Bad things always happen in life, get over it. I will also include the people who involve way too many other people in situations that only require a minimal amount of involvement + people who cannot keep secrets and spread rumors.

5.       Nonactiveness/uninvolvment: People who let small things take over their social life although it does happen to the best of us. People who waste life or don’t take action when needed. People who spend too much time on insignificant things, and don’t get back up quickly after something bad happens. Expecting too much out of everything you do. After all, what you give is what you receive.  

6.       Greed: Greedy people who are also selfish. Period.

7.       Pessimism: Sure its also bad to be too optimistic, but its better to be more optimistic than pessimistic, with the exception of reasoning and rationality being too much for optimism to overcome pessimism. (ex. someones clearly dead with vital signs unintact, but you hope for resurrection, technology these days is not up there yet).

8.       Immaturity/dependentness: Which one of the following choices is included  in this category?

A .Extremely opinionated people.

B. People dependent on other sources other than themselves, this includes parents, grandparents, relatives, friends, etc. It’s a cruel world, parents and other sources of help will die. Be your own source of help. Help yourself to life.

C. People who can’t deal with anger in a fashionable manner

D. Copycats. People who don’t think for themselves.

E. All of the Above

Answer will be available at the end of the list.

9.       Backstabbers: Highly competivive/cutthroat people. Too self-absorbed and unchill people. Life is not a game. Don’t be a traitor. What goes around comes around.

10.    Narcissistic people:  It is obviously not a good thing to love yourself too much. Basically don’t be gay for yourself. There is a reason there are things called “soul mates” or life partners. You can’t mate your own soul that’s just wrong, and it’s quite sad if you are your only partner, because it means you have no friends. Humans are certainly not asexual organisms, we can’t reproduce by ourselves. We were all born with one out of two reproductive organs and it takes both to carry on your genes. Its basic biology. With that all in mind, you get the point.

If you made it through 80 percent of the list (so at least 8/10 didn't fit you), you are in very good shape. I’m not perfect so I’ll admit im not 100 percent either, but i believe i am in pretty good shape. Just need to work out my biceps more. (By the way the answer to number 8 is letter choice E.)

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You can never really know yourself, you learn more every day. So what people for the past 19 years of my life have had an impact on my life and i'd learned from? I’ll start with family then move on to other people. To me family and friends belong in typically the same category because though friends come and go, the real friends always stick around like family. Again I am probably forgetting a lot of people, this list is tentative. 

1.       My nuclear family (parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles and aunts, first cousins) is relatively small compared to most families)

·         Sister: As noted in my common application college essay, she basically made me a less selfish person in a lot of ways

·         Grandparents: From them I learned to appreciate excessive care. Since they took care of me for my first 3/19 years of life, they care alot about me and would go overboard sometimes. Whenever I got back to visit, I get spoiled by them, but I did promise them I would give them half of my paycheck when I get my first real job offer.

·         First Cousins: Now my only uncle on my dads side (his older brother and also his only sibling) is divorced, then my aunt on my moms side ( my mom’s older sister) is also divorced. So I have 2/3 first cousins with divorced parents. The last first cousin is a toddler so she hasn’t done much but be the cutest baby cousin one could have. But yeh my two older cousins are both 7 years older than me, and I know that they do not enjoy having a divided family. They both are having trouble getting jobs and dealing with family fueds. But everytime I go back to china, they hangout with me and show me around like surrogate big brothers.

·         Parents: sure they care and they have influenced me in so many ways I can’t count (seriously) starting with a lucky sperm cell from my dads family jewels that made it to a haven inside my mom and that then becoming me coming out of my mom’s private part 19 years ago, but I’ve gone through so many early years of their arguing and fighting since I could remember, and I remember they threatened divorce multiple times in my life when I was a kid and my sister was either not born or too young. I’m positive the only reason they have stayed together this long is cuz of me, and later my sis. Sometimes I wonder if they were ever compatible with each other. Maybe they were, until we came along, they do say children screw up everything. Either way, I’ve learned that its very important to balance marriage and children when older, and jobs. I’ve also of course learned other stuff from them along the way but there’s too much to recall at this moment.

2.   Yinfei: Probably one of my first friends that I can recall, did a lot of fun stupid stuff back when we were kids living in an awesome apartment neighborhood around the medical center. My childhood was complete partly cuz of our kidmance. Up until middle school started and we moved away, him to katy, while I stayed in Houston, friendship didn’t really change until high school. Hope Austin is treating you well bro.

3.       Double T: I’ll always remember how you always had my back in elementary school when people picked on me. I also remember how your hair literally went down to your knees cuz your hair grew faster than you haha jk. Now you’re a bad girl I see, just don’t do anything stupid that you’ll regret.

4.       Rockey: Though we didn’t go to the same school for 7 years, we always went to each others birthday parties way back then. Used to always compete to see who would be the pokemon master on our Gameboys. Good times. Guess you were too busy trying to be the very best and catchin all of the pokemon cuz we never talked in high school. Congrats on being the co-valedictorian of BHS, proud of you, hard work always pays-off. Interesting how things work out, we’ll be going to the same school again. Go Big Red.

5.       Kai: Aww man we used to ball everyday in middle school in the hood. We even had enough balls to ball with the ghetto streetballers, even though we got dunked on sometimes. Showed me how to be aggressive. Your life was going well until a bad influence came into your life in high school. Still owe me a game of one-on-one basketball, I don’t forget things.

6.       Sarah: Apparently I can attract white girls

7.       Zee: Sorry for not calling back everytime. Learned since to always keep in contact with people in general no matter.

8.       Sophee: it takes more than a bag of skittles and game to please a girl. There is more to a girl other than her boobs. The love of my life. 

9.       Jenny: one of the only girls I can think of atm that I know will always have my back no matter what

10.     Kevin: If I ever had a brother, it would be him

11.    Matt: My spiritual brother. Always calm, quiet, and most moral person i know. Thanks for taking the time this summer to help me with my internal troubles and dedicating a couple of hours of your time each week to read the bible to me and translating the meanings of the word, attempting to help me become a better person spiritually.

12.    Vivek: One of the hardest workers I know. Showed me how even when you try your best and the outcome isn’t what you expect, just keep working. We got this. 

13.    Elizabeth: It never hurts to be nice, no matter how nice you already are.  

14.    DKE Brotherhood: Kerothen Philoi Aei

15.    Your friends can lead you down any path, but you choose where you end up.

Miscellaneous/Idols

1.       Brian Lo: refer to the previous post

2.       Logan Wilson: “No matter where you go or what you do, I believe you will be fine if you just be yourself.”

3.    Alan Thompson: “Don't let pushing yourself become an obsession or a lie.”

4.       Michael Phelps: You can achieve greatness, you can achieve anything, , if you set your mind to it.

5.       Steve Francis:  “What if's only lead to questioning the now. I'm grateful for what I have” after retiring from the Houston rockets because of injury and wanting to spend time with his family after being the cornerstone of the franchise for his first 5 years.

6.       Lebron James: No matter how good you are, you can only get better.

Okay, that is all I have time for now. I’d just like to add that I’m quite grateful to be alive, and looking forward to the upcoming years and where life takes me and what life brings me. Yeah baby! 

Fighting till Death does us all

“Happiness is the result of personal effort, you fight for it, you strive for it, you insist upon it, and sometimes travel the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly for it.”-Anonymous

(Warning: This is a very long post, and I doubt anyone will read through this whole thing and do not attempt to read through this whole post unless you have time and you really  want to gain insight on life, want to know about me and or hear me vent on my week and other things)

    At this point in life, I’d say I am happy. Happiness is a relative term after all. I’m happy that I have a place to live, family, friends, and happy I am healthy and alive. I cannot say I am satisfied with my life. In fact at this point I am not even close. Life (as a proper noun) has been bringing “down on me”(jeremiah+50 cent) considerable unsatisfaction, or a more correct, real, valid term, dissatisfaction. So now I am going to analyze and dissect the opening statement like a neurosurgeon dissecting the opening skull of a patient. Everything in life takes personal effort, and I believe I’ve put in a decent amount of effort to get to where I am now, yet I am very unsatisfied because I have so many what-ifs and regrets that come along in life from uneffortful and unmature(or immature or amateur) actions that I can’t seem to let go easily.        
           One has to fight for everything in life, whether its love or a championship. I always try to fight my way to the top, win or lose. However, fighting is a broad term. So I’m going to start with physical fighting. From what I’ve remembered I’ve done a lot over the past years. In my elementary school years when I lived in a nice apartment community, me and a childhood butt-buddy used to fight with kids all the time to gain respect from the other kids, in other words we owned the neighborhood. I recall we even fought each other at times when we disagreed over childish things, after all we were kids those days. Of course our mommas didn’t like it but they could only shake their heads and spank us, and I’d like to say, both of us took the spanking like real boys, and I’d also like to add that we liked it. I also remember an instance in 5^th grade one day after school, we were wrecking these school kids in clean games of basketball at a nearby park and this obscenely obnoxious middle school freshman whom I’m not going to name decided to interfere with our games. We let him play on a team like gentleboys, he decided to be a sore loser and start playing unfair because they were losing and we won yet again after a dirty game. He let out his pussy-ass anger and started calling us names.We didn’t mind and asked for another game. He wouldn’t have it and slapped one kid on our team. Then he pushed me and my friend. My friend understandably backed down since he was older than us, but I was pissed and wasn’t having any of it. I told him if he touched me one more time, I was going to beat him up. The pussy that he is and thinking he was all that didn't heed my words and immediately bitch slapped me across the face. It was completely silent for about 3 seconds and then we started fighting. He got a few slaps on my face again and a few pussy kicks. I probably went super-saiyan because I felt quite strong and shouted Kamehameha! in my mind and threw a megapunch to his face. The pussy goes down on the ground cupping his bleeding nose and this random 8^th grader was like “oh shit”. His nose is apparently broken and the douchebag probably went crying to his mommy because next thing I knew the female dog comes to my house and argues with my mom threatening for injury compensation. Since I had plenty of witnesses at the scene, it was quite ridiculous of her to claim such things as her son clearly initiated the incident and I was clearly exercising my right to self-defense. I later find out he had to get some type of plastic surgery on his nose, bet his parents weren’t happy about the expenses and I guess karma is a female dog as well. After that, I had three straight years of peace in middle school until one final school day in the locker room after swim practice, some random Mexican kid who didn’t get picked up because his daddy was probably too busy making a living mowing lawns, wouldn’t stop harassing me about my chinese name and after pushing a few more of my buttons, I went at him. Fight lasted about half a minute because my teammates held me back instead of backing me up, which was better for me because I probably would’ve been suspended just in time for the 8^th grade dance. Over the years I signed a personal no fighting treaty to myself as I’ve come to realize violence is not the answer. Then after yet again 3 more years of peace, one night of first semester senior year of high school I get in hopefully my last and final physical altercation of my life, this time with my old man. I was busy with homework and college apps late at night working on the family computer since I did not have a PC(personal computer) at the time, stressed out with so much shit on my mind in addition to being profoundly sleep-deprived throughout the week and exhausted from an intense early morning workout. To calm my fevered brain, I pull up this flashgame online, right when my dad walks in. He probably had a bad day at work or was on something because he yells the @#$% out of me. After a couple of minutes, I got tired of his bullshit and blew up as well and literally told him off. The guy couldn’t believe I had that in me as I had been quite peaceful for such a prolonged period of time. I guess both of our testosterone levels spiked at the same moment because we ended up on the floor wrestling each other and it was not the wrestling you do for father-son bonding time. Thank God my mom woke up and separated us because it would not have ended well. After that day, I had made a personal doctrine to always find solutions to problems without violence and will stick to it for the rest of my life. In other words, I'm pretty confident that I’ve mastered the art of anger management and peaceful diplomacy (to a certain extent).

       Another aspect of fighting is basically striving or insisting upon something. Using last week’s discussion, motivation is essential for this aspect of fighting. I know that I am the happiest when I achieve any goal after being motivated and putting in effort or fighting and striving for something and it pays-off. Simply put, it’s always the best feeling in the world when you want something so badly and you get it in the end after working for it. Yet paradoxically, the more you get, the more it takes to be satisfied.... Last but not least, to participate relentlessly in life basically to me means living life to the fullest, not wasting time, and always trying my best at everything (within certain limits).

      This whole week at work, I got to be a part of teaching this class to young summer campers called Residency 101. It’s basically just talking about the body, the senses, organs, different types of doctors, and the path to becoming one. I’ve got to admit, I have never met such cute, awesome, and humorous kids. I had the time of my life with the class and the kids, and enjoyed every second of it. At lunch on Friday I was talking to a co-worker and she kept venting on how much she didn’t like teaching the kids and how she couldn’t wait for the week to be over. She then asked me how to be popular with the kids and make them listen. I told her you have to actually like them and don’t tell them to be quiet every 5 minutes and use other tactics to have them enjoy learning and have fun, after all it is summer camp and not school. Maybe she was just PMSing, it might be that time of the month for her. When she told me this was her last week, I expressed verbally how im gonna miss her, but in my head I was like whatever, I’m gonna miss my campers a lot more than you. They brightened every one of my days this week, despite everything that has been going on outside of work. Then after work on Friday, I took a nap and then went with my friends to celebrate a fellow Cornellians birthday, someone I met in the beginning of summer and from the start, I could tell is one of the nicest, humblest, and chillest dudes, someone I would totally take the risk of breaking the law and buying soda illegally for. After getting back home relatively late, I just couldn’t fall asleep because I had so many things on my mind, so I randomly pick a movie out of my stash and watched it alone, felt like a loser but whatever, it happens to the best of us. Coincidently I picked this deep movie called “Reign Over Me”, starring Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle. Now Adam Sandler is my favorite actor and one of the funniest guys out there. He has had great comedies, but is given no credit and is not known at all for dramas. The movie blows me away. It is now one of my favorite movies. Honestly, I rarely cry at all, and the last time I was close to crying over a movie was actually watching another movie of Adam Sandlers called “Click” where there was this one scene that for some reason, only hits the heart of male audiences. Well this movie was deep. I mean it was very deep, just how my friend Jenny would like it. Here a link to a brief summary of the movie. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0490204/  I usually don’t analyze the quality of acting in movies because I don’t care about that stuff, but I’ve got to admit that the acting throughout was amazing. Basically, its about a lonely guy played by Adam Sandler who lost his 3 daughters and wife in one of the planes on 9/11. He is psychologically messed up after it and isolates himself from the world for about 2 years. Then one normal day in NYC, his college roommate played by Don Cheadle bumps into him and they make each other better men. It starts off slow, but builds up and there were a few parts towards the end of the movie where I started crying for real, it was pretty sad, like the movie and on my part, (no judging please). But whatever all that matters is that after watching it, I felt pretty good. There are always people out there who have it worse, and the whole point of the movie is that no matter what happens in life, great friends will always be there.

       So after all this self-reflection, I do not understand why lately I have been so unsatisfied with myself. I feel like at times, I fight myself too much and expect too much. Which leads to the last topic of my post. I have not read a book for fun since reading The Great Gatsby (one of my favorite books) for a freshman writing class at Cornell, and so since it’s summer, I picked up one of the many books I bought off clearance at Half Price Books with my buddy Kevin. The book is called “Final Exam” and is a compilation of stories on a surgeons journey through medical school and into practice, and basically how she dealt with death on a daily basis. Again, it was pretty deep, probably not as much as my friend Jenny would like, but deep enough. In my life thus far, I have only dealt with a death once. His name was Brian Lo, but everyone called him B-Lo. He was my brother, a brother of the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity at Cornell. He was also a senior in the Cornell School of Hotel Administration and a son of two chinese immigrant parents. He died in an accidental fire at his apartment on his last day of college classes. He had a real estate company ready to employ him right after graduation, which would’ve took place 1 month after his last day of classes. Heres an article about it from the Cornell newspaper.   http://cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2011/05/09/friends-say-brian-lo-%E2%80%9911-victim-cook-street-fire-loved-smile

         I remember being present when an administrator personally broke the news first to all of us who were sitting and fidgeting at the house. It was horrible, the worst feeling ever and a lot of brothers immediately started bawling. I didn’t cry however until his memorial service which was a few days later, while i was watching and listening to his close friends share stories and thoughts about him. I personally did not know him as well since I had only known him for about 3 months. He was rush chair and rushed me along with other freshman during Cornell rush week, so we only man-flirted, partied, and broed it out. He was one of the reasons I joined DKE, because from the day I met him he was funny and very bro, (he also had big muscles, and he was Asian). In fact, he was the buffest Asian in my fraternity, but joked around with me a lot about how I would take his place once he graduated. I didn’t expect to become the buffest Asian in my fraternity 1 month earlier than he predicted. He would at times, drunkenly tell me how he saw a lot of himself in me and how I had potential to be his protégé. He had these ridiculous but unique catchphrases, similar to the one liners I use (ex: "Cornell guys are easy on the eyes, easier on the heart"-Brian Lo). During the pledging process, he was one of the few brothers who was not a douchebag to us pledges, and actually helped us out. “There’s more to life than being angry” is what he would tell some of us when we were pissed at some of the brothers. He would always reassure us that we were the best pledge class he had rushed and tried his best to quell our fears the week before initiation when all us were scared shitless. I remember through the worst parts of initiation when I just wanted to quit I would think back to my big brothers words of wisdom: “If you are going through hell, keep going.” Then I would think back to B-Lo’s drunk words of wisdom to me the day before: “Are you tough? If you are tough, you will get through anything.” Those words till this day still keep me going during hard times of my life.
        It’s funny how after someone dies, you learn more about the person and respect him so much more. I learned from an active alumni that he was one of the main reasons our fraternity went from sketchy and shitty to mediocre and respectable. He was one of the only senior brothers who cared about bringing up our status on campus and instead of fucking around throughout his 3 years as a brother, he put in countless efforts and ideas to make our fraternity better. He revolutionized the rushing procedure to draw in the best and ensure that we have status insurance for years to come. On the day he died, my pledge class promised we would try our best to make sure his dream of DKE being one of the top houses in Cornell would become a reality. What sucks is that his parents don’t speak English and didn’t even know he was in a fraternity, so they have no idea what he had done for us, what a role model he was, and how important he was to our fraternity because we could not explain or express the positive impact of their sons’ life on us and so many other people. There were a lot of heartfelt stories about him shared during the memorial, but one thing that always came up was how he was always smiling, no matter what happened. I miss his smile, no homo. I miss his daily lessons on how important protein is. I miss his “Awwwwww steve xu, eat more protein and you’ll be like me” statement every time I am eating dinner at the house. I miss the same brief conversation that goes like "wow steve xu, so much protein"  every time he sees me at lunch lounging on the couch with a plate full of food and I miss his chuckle every time I'd reply, "not enough, B-Lo, not enough". Last but not least, I miss his positive attitude on life every second he was awake, and I know he would be pissed off at me if he knew I was dissatisfied with my life and having negative attitudes as of late and taking life for granted. So Brian Lo, I'm dedicating this post as well as a smile on my face to you.